Earlier today, an idiot a professional building climber scaled the New York Times Building in NYC.

Alain Robert, a French stuntman known for climbing tall buildings, scaled the north face of the New York Times building on Thursday, ascending 52 stories to the roof and clutching a bright green banner, before police officers arrested him around 12:22 p.m. Robert’s banner and mission were to create awareness against global warming. (Source - includes video: NY Times)

As I write this, there’s another idiot an unknown individual scaling the same building - currently around the 45th floor of a 52nd floor building. The copycat dude is reported not to be associated in any way or form with the first one. As well, his mission/cause is unknown.

Well, here’s to hoping he makes it.

Update: He reached the top and was immediately arrested by the police.

As police officers escorted him out of a service elevator, under arrest, the man identified himself as Ray Clark, 32, an information technology worker and “urban climber” from Brooklyn. He said he had climbed three other buildings in New York City. It was not immediately possible to independently confirm the name. He wore a white T-shirt with the slogan “Malaria No More” in blue letters. (Source: NY Times)

Ah yes, life in the city. Don’tcha love it?

So what’s up everyone? This is the first post of the brand spankin’ new – “Frapps with Nick” section of Cold Coffee. Just wanted to let you all know this will be a biweekly occurrence, I’ll be posting on here every other Thursday. It will include songs, stories, poetry and a whole mess of other things. This should help add some new spunk to the blog for the spring and summer. To give you a taste of my kind of stories, I give you the following.

To understand this story, you’ll first need to understand my morning routine. I get woken up, well get screamed at and forced to get out of bed at 7:15ish. At about 7:20 I wake up, stumble around the house getting dressed for school, brushing my teeth and eating; leading up to me getting out of the door by about 7:45. By the time I get to school it’s about 7:55. School begins at 8 and classes begin at 8:10.

This story takes place during Math (Period 2) at about 9:10 in the morning. I (still completely drained from the previous night’s sleep) was “resting my eyes” in math class. That period I really didn’t feel like learning about parabolas and vertexes, the only thing I had on my mind was sleep. I had awoken from a slight jostle on my desk due to my teacher Mr. K putting a worksheet on my desk and continued to hit my desk to wake me up.

Mr. K: Nick, wake the hell up. What do you think this is?
Me: Uh, Math class. Did we go somewhere else?
Mr. K: (now agitated due to my sarcasm) Pick your head up now and do that worksheet.
Me: Ok, No problem. (Signed my name to the worksheet and put my head back down on the desk)
Mr. K: Did you not understand my directions. I said wake up, pick up your head or go to the principal’s office.
Me: Will he let me sleep?
Mr. K: (even more agitated) Just do the damn worksheet.

I finally got bored of arguing with my math teacher and decided to try to get this worksheet completed so I could continue my morning nap. I took a glance across the room and discovered he was glaring at me. I looked back at my paper and continued on it. While reading it, I realized that the last five or ten questions where questions on finding angles, asking “Find X”.

I, being sarcastic and quite annoyed (he woke me up twice, and I was exhausted. Wouldn’t you be pretty pissed?) was trying to scheme up an idea to frustrate Mr. K. It finally came to me; I circled the x in each question then continued by writing “Aye, look I found it”. I put the paper on the top left of my desk and put my head back down. Mr. K realizing I was completed walked over to my desk and grabbed the paper.

I’ve got big big exciting news for y’all!

Anyone who visits my site will know that I write a lot about my teenage son, Nick. Well, he’s going to grace us with a bi-weekly blog here at Cold Coffee. He says I need a fresh Springtime twist.

Tentatively titled “Frapps with Nick” will look at life as a teen/young adult - through his eyes, ears, and mouth - with music, video, stories, anecdotes, and may even advice - in the style that is “Nick” ’cause, of course - that’s how he rolls!

Nick: So, can I cuss?
Moi: No F-bombs.
Nick: Can I write about drugs and alcohol?
Moi: Only if you want to come visit me in jail.
Nick: What about hookers?
Moi: Sure - why not. I offered to get you one for your 16th birthday.
Nick: Yeah, that was embarrassing. Maybe now I’ll turn the table on you - reveal some of your embarrassing moments.
Moi: I think I do that quite well on my own, but okay.

Between Lisa, Nick, and myself - and you my readers - we should be able to provide quite a variety of entertainment. You’ll either be excited or appalled. I kid! I kid!

So are you excited? If you have topics you’d like Nick to explore, drop him a comment at the Contact page.

P.S. Don’t worry - Mom (Moi) still maintains editorial rights over what he has to say.

Think back a long, long time ago. When we were invited to those dreaded home demo parties. It was all about rubber storage containers, or the million dollar baskets, or how to paint your face in three easy steps (can you say Tammy Faye?).

Before: and After:

Well ladies, welcome to the new Millennium. Nowadays, the parties we’re getting invited to are … shall we say … full of other types of things that we may not necessarily want lying around the house for little Johnny to be playing with.

Let’s look at some of these parties:

The Shock and Awe Taser Party

Or should it be called Girls with Guns? You guys know you’re all hot for a girl with a gun, but will you be so happy about this little prize?

For only $300 ($350 if you want one with a laser beam to make sure you get exactly the spot you’re aiming for) you can have one of these little jewels to carry around with you. It’s so small, it’ll easily fit down in your Botegga bag. And, we can’t forget fashionable of course. It comes in a variety of colors to mix and match with every outfit you have. Think of all the possible uses for it, other than the obvious for self protection, of course. It gives “make them squirm” a whole new meaning.

The Ooh La La Passion Party

Ok, whoever came up with this one was a freaking genius of major proportions. I mean, think about it. What self-respecting female is REALLY gonna go into one of those sleazy porn shops and buy this shit out in the open, setting herself up for some sweaty, 300 pound horny assed bastard to follow her to her car (see taser party above).

Imagine the scenario: Lots and lots of hot, sexy girls, there for one reason. To find a toy (sometime toys) that will be used for what else? Her sexual pleasure, right? To replace the man that has obviously given her nothing in return thus the need for the toy for her own satisfaction.

Ok, sorry to spew my own personal baggage.