June 7, 2008

Being the mother of a young adult, I thought I’d do something a little different here, and pass along to mothers of young children “learnings from personal experiences” that have been helpful. For this first installment, I’m going to focus on that all too dreaded topic of potty training.

Everyone told me it’s harder to potty train boys than girls. Being the mother of a boy and not a girl, I’m not qualified to validate that fact. But I can tell you not long after Nick turned two, he was potty trained. How you ask?

• a teddy bear,
• a toddler’s potty (not a seat that fits on an adult toilet),
• m&m’s, and
• this book: Once Upon a Potty (Boy).

So what did we do?

First and most important: Fundamentally, your child will let you know when they’re ready, and you really shouldn’t force the issue. But you can help encourage them. This is what worked for us.

Starting at around 18-months, we would frequently read Once Upon a Potty to Nick. The book is written for children 1 year and up, and tells the story of a toddler, Joshua, as he learns how to use the potty. (This one is for boys while there’s another one in the series for girls.)

Fully illustrated and simply written, the author, Alona Frankel, wrote it for her son back in the 1970s as he, himself, was in the process of learning. And, it’s still widely recommended today. (You can count me in as a big supporter!)

Also at around 18 months, we bought Nick his OWN potty designed specifically for toddlers, and put a jar of m&m’s in the bathroom (out of his reach, of course). Nick was rewarded with a couple of m&m’s each time he willingly sat on his potty. (Yes, we chose m&m’s. You can substitute any other special treat your child rarely gets but REALLY wants - however, reserve it ONLY for potty training.)

Being fully portable, we’d bring the potty out of the bathroom and put it in his bedroom, or kitchen, or living room. This helped dispell any fears of a “strange object in the bathroom,” and being forced to go into that weird room. As well, having it in plain sight helped foster his curiosity and acceptance of that strange chair.

Over the course of the next few months, Nick memorized the book, AND then taught his teddy bear how to use the potty. Mind you, Nick would sit on his potty, but not use it. Basically, it was just a place to sit. Then one day it finally clicked, and he actually did pee in his potty. Not just sit on it.

It was a proud moment, and a major milestone. Not only an accomplishment, but an esteem-builder, too, in that he did it when he was ready; not when I felt he was ready.

After that day, he used his potty all the time.

Here’s a good adage to go along with this - you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.  When he’s thirsty enough, he will.

Got a question or topic you’d like covered? Let me know. I may not have the answer, but I’m willing to give it my best shot.

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