March 21, 2008

Reading the news in the morning is always a source of entertainment for me. I can find the most interesting, as well as bizarre, stories out there. I question who the hell put that much forethought and effort into writing them, and why the hell the Associated Press would even bother paying these reporters to carry the story. However, what am I doing? Propagandizing their stupidity by writing this blog myself.

Let me share a few morning headlines with you, just in case you missed them.

The Great Illinois Flake Off
Supposedly, there is more to Corn Flakes than just their … cough cough .. great taste. For all you collectors of Jesus toast and Hail Mary cabbage leaves, now you can have your own little piece of Illinois. For only $1,025.00 (current ebay bid) you can have this tasty little morsel.

Kid Goes Deaf After Falling Asleep in School
In Connecticut, a 15 year old kid is suing a teacher for causing his hearing loss. Evidently, he fell asleep in class and when she slammed a book on his desk, startled his sorry ass and now he’s suffering hearing loss. Gives new reason to sitting in the front of the class.

Chang gets Jimmy “Chou-ed”
A man in NY has filed a lawsuit against a lap dance club in Manhattan after getting heeled in the face. While he was getting his kicks, no pun intended (or was it?), his purchased dancer turned around and the heel on her shoe snagged him in the face. I suppose Mr Chang must have been pretty hard on for some cash flow. Perhaps next time he should go to the southern style rock of love lap dance clubs.

Ok, I could go on and on, but even I have had enough. With all the important shit going on in our world, can we concentrate on that instead? Do we REALLY want to hear about this stuff? Is there a war going on? Is this an election year with important topics we need to be debating? Is our economic empire falling right in front of our faces?

Ok, you’re right …
bring on the absurd and ridiculous ..
one piece of bullshit is as good as any other.

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|  Printable version | Posted in poli-socio rants | Tags: comedy, poli-socio rants, ponder, rant, that which amuses me.