January 30, 2008

I originally posted this back in February of 2000. A close friend had recently died in a car accident over in Europe. Although I had only known her for a short time, she changed my way of looking at life and the people in it.
Here is that tribute. Reprised.
(This is for you T. Hope you’re still doing it your way - carefree and with a big ol’ smile.)

I miss my friend, and I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately. I miss her humor. I miss her wisdom. I miss her compassion. I miss her ability to shrug off the cynicisms of life. She was a unique individual unlike any other I’ve ever known - a free spirit - and I feel that spirit lives on in her new journey.

Many lessons and revelations were learned from her…

She taught me to appreciate myself for the person I am, and not for the person somebody else would wish me to be. That the shallowness of one’s self is evidenced by the level of one’s vanity.

She taught me it’s our imperfections that keep us humble, and our spirituality that keeps us optimistic. That, were we all perfect, our friends and family wouldn’t be able to tolerate us - nor would we be able to tolerate ourselves.

She helped me realize there are no stigmas associated with being free. Instead, we should hold firm to our inner beliefs and values, and not be swayed by the biases, beliefs and criticisms of others. And, if criticized, to consider them as jealousies of those stuck living in staid existences, incapable of seeing anything other than black and white.

She taught me to appreciate myself for the person I am, and not for the person somebody else would wish me to be. That the shallowness of one’s self is evidenced by the level of one’s vanity.

Most importantly, she helped me realize that to love is not merely a physical feeling or state of mind. That to love is not to be in love - for that is merely an infatuation, which will, with time, pass. Instead, love is a Guidant of the heart and the soul, with the pureness of emotion overpowering the intellect of even the most intelligent. And that, when we stop to reflect on our relationships - be them with family, friends, or lovers - the true gift gained is a pure and natural love in various forms - whether spoken or implied.

I truly miss my friend. Sadly, she passed away before I ever got the chance to tell her that I loved her, or to let her know just how important she was to me. For all of the people who bring meaning to your life, don’t let the opportunity pass you by.

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