January 25, 2008

Do men have no shame, at all? Viva Viagra? Seriously? Is that the BEST you advertisers could come up with? Elvis is probably rolling over in his grave, shuddering - knowing his music has become the ‘face’ of erectile dysfunction (ED). Long live the King!

Note to advertisers - hire new creative teams. You’re scraping the bottom of the barrel in an attempt to breath new life out of old. It ain’t working folks. But how about something like this:

Bob: Having sex with me is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
Jane: It’s okay Bob. Maybe you want to talk to your doctor about Viagra.

(left stage: from the wings, Mighty Mouse comes flying in holding a small brown bag boldly emblazoned with the word VIAGRA…)

Mighty Mouse: Here I come to save the day!
Jane (to Mighty Mouse): Oh Mighty Mouse! You’re my hero! Bye Bob - I’m leaving you. <3

(Jane flies off with Mighty Mouse as camera pans back to Bob standing all by himself.)

That’s the kind of commercial I want to see for Viagra. It’s short - following the “How to get your point across in 30 seconds or less” philosophy. And it’s effective. And much better than Viva Viagra. Well, I think so.

We know men are notoriously braggart and enjoy discussing bodily functions, i.e., the morning dump. And conquests of females. And sports. Come think of it, to some men, female conquests is a sport. Mighty Mouse was a sporting man and stole the lady. See?

In the spirit of equality, I think us ladies need to come up with some advertising campaigns aimed specifically towards women. If men can have no shame and do the “peacock strut,” well ladies - we should have equal time! To get it started, here’s a few potential (campy) soundtrack options for - Practical Advertising for Everyday Problems (the female edition):

1. Menopause - A Change is Gonna Come (Neville Bros)
2. Vajayjay odor - Rats in the Cellar (Aerosmith)
3. Sagging boobs - “Will you still need me, will you still feed me” (When I’m 64 - The Beatles)
4. Contraception - White Wedding (Billy Idol)
5. PMS (which, by the way - stands for Punish My Spouse) - Oops, I Did It Again (Brit Brit)

Do you have any suggestions? Come on and play along.

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|  Printable version | Posted in practical solutions, reflections, that which amuses me | Tags: chicken soup, commercials, goodies, life, medicine, ponder, practical solutions, that which amuses me, Viva Viagra.