50 is the new 40. Or, come on now. Really, it's only a number!

January 19, 2008

Today is Gary’s birthday. His 50th birthday. And to say he’s not pleased that he’s turning 50 is an understatement. In his eyes, Gary views it as being old. I disagree. In my eyes, I view it as having lived life - full of adventures and stories to share.

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
Abraham Lincoln

In trying to extol the virtues of turning the Big 5-0, I didn’t help matters much, though, when I asked if he’d received his AARP card in the mail. He didn’t think that was very funny.

On the other hand, there are those who aren’t afraid of getting older, and rejoice and celebrate - defying Father Time with each year that passes. I was talking to Pappy on the phone earlier this week wishing him a happy birthday (he just celebrated his 82nd). According to Pappy, he’s not 82 - he’s only 41. On each leg! And Gram’s 38 on one, and 41 on the other. That’s a unique way of looking at it, huh. (heh-heh)

What do I do? To me, it’s just another day. I don’t celebrate. Period. But this isn’t about me. It’s about Gar turning 50.

happy birthday

Several years ago, a friend gave me a poem that made me change my perception of aging. In it, instead of accessing your life by the number of years associated with it, you should put the weight on the “dash” - the number represented between your birth and your death. The poem’s called The Dash, written by Linda Ellis, and it goes as follows:

The Dash
I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone - from the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth, and spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own; the cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard. Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left, that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real,
And always try to understand the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger, and show appreciation more,
And love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect, and more often wear a smile -
Remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read with your life’s actions to rehash -
Would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent your dash?
©1996 Linda Ellis

So Gar, as you turn another year older, detach the number as a symbolic indicator of age. Instead, just remember this simple, yet highly appropriate and meaningful quote from one of our prestigious forefathers - Abraham Lincoln:

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

And finally, in honor of 50, my hillbilly salute to you, my good good friend…

Here’s to you - and here’s to me. Forever friends we’ll always be. And should we ever disagree - piss on you, and here’s to me!
(shhh! luv ya)

Happy Birthday!

~dKaye

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| Printable version | Posted in Noteworthy, reflections | Tags: family, friendship, life, reflections.

7 Responses to “50 is the new 40. Or, come on now. Really, it’s only a number!”

on 19 Jan 2008 1 Nick

Happy Birthday bro. 50 isn’t that bad, so don’t think of it as a bad thing. think of it as turning 25 for the second time, that’s all. anyways, i had a sweetass day with you today and there’s many more to come. happy birthday.
on 20 Jan 2008 2 janet

Hi Gar. The Big 5-0 It is just a number and really only signifies that you have had one more year to enjoy life and learn. in reality you are only one day older than the day before, as it has always been from the time you were first born. and little sis is picking up the slack right behind you! i pray that you will enjoy each day as it is new and make memories each day that you can reflect on with gladness, not because your best days are behind you but because you have enjoyed each moment that passes. This is my wish for you my brother. and that we can also share as many of them as possible. I Love You Gary. From Your Little Sis.
on 21 Jan 2008 3 Jenn

I love it! 25 in each leg!!! Gary knows what I’d say about that hehehe wink wink!!! I can’t take it I have to say it… so the one in the middle is like the extra candle on the cake “one to grow on”!?!?!?!

Happy Birthday!
Love
the evil Jenn
on 21 Jan 2008 4 Jenn
on 26 Jan 2008 5 Mista G ~

Well it seems inspiration needs to come early on a weekend morning for me…

Now it’s my turn to comment on myself.

Turnin’ the big 50 was a little strange as you can view that number so many ways, and hey why is it the dreaded number when it comes to age anyway …hun, hun?

The perspective I have on it now is … Hey it’s OK..yea right ..lol !!!
The lines that seem to appear on my face, the look of tiredness in my eyes seem to all tell a story …a story of life , my life.

I’ve been blessed. I have my family and great friends surrounding me for this magic number 30…lol

Hey I no longer party like a rock star - instead I party with rockstars …that’s way beyond anything I ever imagined, D and Nicholas dig the shit out of that one too!!
Now I find myself more understanding, a little more patient, and knowing what is truly important at this stage in life….it’s my family and friends !
You see, materialistic things are just that - they might make you feel good for a moment - but shit, that won’t make you feel important. They won’t make you close your eyes at night when you smile or cry and make you feel needed.

So when it seems that your gold is silver, and your blue is grey …or that path to the romantic panic just leaves you empty ..close your eyes for a moment and think of what is truly important to you and tell them … Tell them you LOVE them !!!

Thanks to all that remembered my birthday ….here , by email , on myspace or by phone …this is what I have to say ~

……….I LOVE YOU ……….

dK, thanks punkin for this post !

G~
on 26 Jan 2008 6 dkaye

So, it wasn’t so bad after all, was it? (Just remember though, I’ll ALWAYS be younger than you.)

P.S. We surprised the prune juice outta ya, didn’t we!
on 27 Jan 2008 7 janet

Hi Gary! what you wrote on here is sooooooo awesome and also very true because family and friends and being happy is what’s most important in our lives. It really made me feel good to be able to be there at your party. may you have 50 more years of birthdays to enjoy, along with lots of really great memories. im soooooo glad to know that you have a much better attitude on ageing. Cheers To You My Brother. I Love You. Your Sister.

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