October 10, 2007

If you look in my pantry at any given time, you can usually find a 6-pack of orange Gatorade and a 100-count bottle of Aleve. I’ve learned, through trial and error - and the recommendation of one of my doctor buddies, this is the best regimen to treat a hangover … take two Aleve and slowly drink (not guzzle) about 16-ounces of Gatorade.

You just have to remember to do this before you pass out - not after you wake up the next morning with your head spinning. That’s called being pro-active.

I’ve successfully nursed many a drunken friend with this remedy - including one who had severe alcohol poisoning. And, I would like to say I practice what I preach. I’d also like to say I’m quitting my job and moving to Tuscany, but that ain’t happening - yet. So you get the gist - I don’t always adhere to my own advice.

This past Saturday, for example, was a wasted day as I nursed a nasty ‘takillya’ hangover.

Being the good designated drunk, I downed a triple shot of Patrón the night before and chased it with a margarita, or three. By the time I got home, I was lucky just to find my bed.

Foregoing the aforementioned remedy proved to be a mistake - I paid dearly for it Saturday. Slept in until noon. Still intoxicated, I got up and stumbled to the kitchen to grab some Gatorade only to discover I was out. Dammit!

Okay. I’ll get Nick to walk over to the store to pick some up for me. “Nick, you here?”

Shit, I forgot. He was in New Orleans with his dad. Argghhhhh.

Squinting hard, I looked around in the frig for a substitute. Let’s see - water, apple cider. Oh god, NO! Just the thought of cider made me nauseous. Iced tea, some flat Pepsi, milk. No, no, and no.

Grabbing a bottled water and the Aleve, I headed back to bed, praying for a quick miracle. Can I tell you - didn’t get one!

About 4pm, my head finally stopped spinning enough that I was able to sit up - vowing, just like all the times before, I was never going to do shots again. So help me, Señor Patrón!

Last night, I stashed a fresh case of Gatorade behind my bed, just in case. Señor Patrón can be pretty persuasive.

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