October 6, 2007

The other morning, I was sitting at the desk in my home office reading emails, as I always do before going to work. All of a sudden, I hear a crash out on the patio and, looking outside, see that one of my sports chairs - that was leaning up against the wall - has fallen over. (The chair is one of those canvas collapsible variety that you carry with you to sit on at kids’ soccer or football games.)

I turn back to my emails thinking I’ll get Nick to pick it up before he leaves for school.

A couple of minutes later, I hear a strange noise outside and, looking out the window, see a groundhog trying to drag the chair off the patio. I’m dumbfounded - why would a groundhog need my chair? A tea party? Anyway, I yell out the door at the ‘hog - who just stares back at me. I stare back at him (her??). We both stand locked in a staredown for what felt like minutes, although I know it was only seconds. Me more so because I was amused by the sight of this little critter trying to carry off a chair that was easily 5 times its size.

I go to shoo the ‘hog away and before I can open the door, it takes off - leaving the chair behind. Laughing it off, I walk back to my room to finish getting dressed for work.

Now ready to leave, I walk over by the patio door to see if the ‘hog had returned. Seeing the chair still laying on its side, I decide to move it and put it in a safe place. Walking out on the patio, I pick up the chair and stand it back up. Then I see a piece of plastic wrap that had chew marks all over it. Curious, I inspect the wrap a little closer - and realize it’s from a plastic Christmas bag which was covering — dammit! the little shit!

I turn around to find my artificial Christmas tree - bungy-tied to the patio - with a huge hole in the bottom of the bag, chewed out of it. The little thief! Why would it want my Christmas tree? I mean - really, it was only September. (Okay, so you’re asking yourself why do I have an artificial tree tied to my patio, aren’t you. Because my condo has no darned storage and I’m too cheap to pay for a self-store anymore. Note the keyword - anymore).

The tree was wrapped in three layers. The ‘hog only chewed through the first one - thankfully. Otherwise, I’d have a rusted tree come Christmastime. (I’ll post a picture of it when I get around to taking one.)

I’m still curious as to what the groundhog was planning on doing with the tree and/or chair. Possibly redecorating the den? Hasn’t been back to retrieve any other furnishings lately - at least that I’m aware of.

Cheers.

dKaye

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