December 15, 2006

((**Evil laughter**)) :: Fatique, an overactive brain, and a little alcohol. What do you get when you combine those three things? Twisted humor. Beware, it’s not your childhood revisited. (lol)

‘Twas the night before Christmas and on down the hall,
they were living it up - they were having a ball.
Santa was hung from the chimney without care,
in hopes that Rudolph soon would be there.

But Rudy was suffering from the holiday blues,
he’d downed some vicodin with a bottle of booze.
His wish was not was granted, he was very upset -
After tonight, Santa was trading him in for a ‘Vette.

How dare the fat bastard treat me this way -
I’ll show him, he thought! I’ll sabotage his sleigh.
So Rudolph set off with a bottle in tow,
to bury the sleigh in a mountain of snow.

Rudy passed by a window and saw a sorrowful sight -
Santa’d been stripped of his suit and was tied up with lights.
The partyers were dancing to the tune of Bathtub Gin
as Santa hung from the ceiling - like a disco ball a-spin.

Rudy fell over laughing facefirst to the ground,
thinking why couldn’t the other reindeers be around -
To witness this spectacle - this most wondrous plight,
Oh well, Rudy thought - serves the ol’ bastard right.

Rudy stood up, grabbed his bottle and staggered away -
leaving Santa behind to fend off the fray.
I’m gonna kill that reindeer Santa thought with a frown,
just as soon as I break free - dammit someone get me down!

Feeling sorry for Santa, or perhaps now just bored
someone grabbed a knife and severed the cord.
Down with a crash the not-so-jolly man fell,
and picking himself up, he cursed them all to hell.

Santa grabbed his clothes, his boots, and his hat
then turning around, on the floor he did spat.
And we heard him swear as he bolted out of sight -
Kiss my ass you sumbitches - it’s been a hell of a night!

©2006 d.chafin-medica, dKaye.com. All Rights Reserved.

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