April 19, 2006

For years now, I have been an advocate for educating the masses on how to use the internet safely, and have verbally and vehemently preached the rationale and necessity for safe internet practices. Up until now, it’s all been through minimal instructional excerpts. With the increased availability of computers in households, and inherent risks abounding, the time has come to take a more pro-active role - from a parental and communal responsibility - to ensure the safety of our kids.

“But you can’t hold the parents accountable when they, themselves don’t know how to use the internet safely.” Wrong. I would go so far as to surmise parents have been instrumental in teaching their children a number of things, from how to cross the street to how to protect themselves from strangers. In this instance, it is to everyone’s benefit to both educate and arm yourself with the knowledge necessary to be one of the internet savvy, even if only at the base level.

I firmly believe if you, the parent, have made the decision to own and invest in a computer, you are thereby obligated to learn the basics of its use, including how to surf the internet. Statements such as “I don’t have time,” or “I don’t want to be bothered with it,” don’t hold water. If you don’t have the time - make the time!

The other common one - “I’m too old to learn it now,” isn’t applicable either. I know of a man who, at 91 years old, bought his first computer, and learned how to use it.

Research reveals some pretty alarming statistics:

• By the end of 1998, more than 40 percent of all American homes had computers, and 25 percent had Internet access. Children and teenagers are one of the fastest growing groups of Internet users. An estimated 10 million kids are online today. By the year 2005, estimated to be 77 million.
• 30% of parents allow their teenagers to use the computer in private areas of the house such as a bedroom or a home office. Parents say they are more vigilant about where their teen(s) go online if the computer is in a public area of the household.
• 42% of parents do not review the content of what their teenager(s) read and/or type in chat rooms or via instant messaging.
• Only 1/3 of the households with Internet access are proactively protecting their children with filtering or blocking software.
• 75% of children are willing to share personal information online about themselves and their family in exchange for goods and services.
• About 25 percent of the youth who encountered a sexual approach or solicitation told a parent.
• One in five U.S. teenagers who regularly log on to the Internet say they have received an unwanted sexual solicitation via the Web. Solicitations were defined as requests to engage in sexual activities or sexual talk, or to give personal sexual information.
• One in 33 youth received an aggressive sexual solicitation in the past year. This means a predator asked a young person to meet somewhere, called a young person on the phone, and/or sent the young person correspondence, money, or gifts through the U.S. Postal Service.
• 77% of the targets for online predators were age 14 or older. Another 22% were users ages 10 to 13.
• 75 percent of the solicited youth were not troubled, 10 percent did not use chat rooms and 9 percent did not talk to strangers.
• Only 25% of solicited children were distressed by their encounters and told a parent.
• Only 17 percent of youth and 11 percent of parents could name a specific authority, such as the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), CyberTipline, or an Internet service provider, to which they could report an Internet crime.

Sources: Youth Internet Safety Survey;, Parents’ Internet Monitoring Study; Center for Missing and Exploited Children; eMarketer; Crimes Against Children Research Center

That’s truly disturbing. Sadly, it’s our youth who are stimulating these statistics by not practicing safe internet usage. Until they realize they are contributing to the problem and change their internet activities, those figures are only going to escalate. To further complicate the situation, children are more knowledgeable of computers than their parents. In this day, as previously stated, it is of the utmost importance that parents take the leap and learn - at a minimum - the basics of computers and internet use.

Let’s explore the key areas of concern:

• Kids presume that, by monitoring internet activity, parents are violating their privacy.

• It is the parents’ responsibility to ensure the safety of their children in the ‘real’ world. That responsibility transcends to the ‘virtual’ world as well - there really is no separation between the two anymore. Internet activity crosses over to potential threats looming in the real world.
• Children require parental guidance and direction in most other aspects of their young lives. This is no exception here. Their ‘harmless fun’ online can actually result in dangerous and/or quite deadly events in real life.

Bottom line - who’s the parent! Let the child perceive it’s a violation of privacy. In reality, it’s an insurance policy - youâ’re ensuring they are safe. A happy balance can be struck between parent and child through establishment of trust.

• Kids are setting up accounts on social websites and revealing personal/private information, and oftentimes posting inappropriate content.

• While local authorities and school systems are doing their best to monitor/watchdog these websites, it’s almost impossible to stay ahead of the predators. Children must remember they’re not yet adults and, despite their best attempts to buck the system, are still obligated to adhere to proper behavior befitting their young years.
• Minor children should never post detailed information about themselves on a public site. This includes their name, their friends’ and family member’s names, where they live, go to school, and/or events in which they participate. Doing so places them, their friends, and their family in potential harm’s way.

Bottom line - kids need to be educated on what is considered safe. Participation in mini-seminars for kids is highly recommended, as it allows them to learn - first-hand - the ramifications of their actions.

• Predators are lurking in the ‘virtual’ world, waiting on their prey.

• Within five minutes, a predator can gather enough information about someone that can ultimately result in crimes against kids and adults. Five minutes!
• It is imperative to learn how to prevent becoming the next prey. It cannot be overemphasized - do not give out personal information. Do not give out personal information. DO NOT GIVE OUT PERSONAL INFORMATION.
• Report immediately any actions that border on criminal to the proper authorities.

• Aside from the potential damage/corruption to computers (hardware and software) other important dangers exist, including theft identity, and disclosure of private information including phone numbers and addresses. While this last item may seem relatively harmless, take into consideration this provides a means for stalking by a predator.
• Ensure you keep software updated on your computer. The major software developers will release security updates to patch known exploits. Stay on top of these, and you cut down on the potential for hacking and viruses.
• The strongest argument presentable for the need to maintain current anti-virus and firewall software: Would you have sex without a condom? Think of anti-virus as just that - ANTI-virus. It helps prevent the transfer of sexually-transmitted diseases (internet viruses and trojans). The firewall protects you from rape (computer corruption and theft identity).

Bottom line - Don’t surf unprotected - use a ‘condom’! It will be one of the best investments you can make for your computer.

The Internet is now a part of our daily lives, and just as with other aspects of daily living, use common sense and do your research, when needed. Don’t sit back and take a non-participation approach. Instead, enlist in the effort. Through a unified approach, both young and old can help reduce the level of criminal activity that is occurring. What you learn can be helpful to someone else.

Following, I’ve compiled some helpful tips for both parents and kids.

For Parents:

• The Most Important Thing: Learn basic computer and Internet skills. The more educated you are, the better you are able to properly understand what your children are doing online. Free courses and seminars are readily available in every community. Check with your local library or police department for programs.

• Spend time with your children online. Have them show you their favorite websites they visit and other activities they participate in online. Talk to them about what is safe and what is not. You’re establishing trust in them to make the right decisions and, until you feel confident that you can trust them, be a positive influence in their choices.

• Place the computer in a common room in the house. Do not allow a desktop computer to be located in a child’s bedroom. Having a computer in a common area of the house - i.e., the kitchen or living room - allows for easy viewing of what your child is doing online.

• Install and maintain both anti-virus and firewall software on all computers. Anti-virus software is a necessity for all computers. Those who have a 24/7 connection are especially cautioned to use firewall protection.

• Create restricted accounts on the computer. These limit what the child can do on the computer, the types of programs they can access, and prevent them from installing unsafe software.

• Create two (2) unique and separate email addresses that have distinct naming structures and complex passwords (6+consisting of alpha/numeric/symbols). Use 1 for your personal, private communications - i.e., family, financial, private, etc. Use a second for general website surfing that does not require any private disclosure of information such as addresses, etc.

Example:

john.doe@your-isp.com - private

cantfoolme@yahoo.com - general

• Consider filtering software for your computer. There are many programs available that filter violent, sexual, and hateful content. These tools are not foolproof, but they can add an additional layer of protection for your children.

• Check the web browser’s history often. Adjust the settings in your Internet browser to track websites accessed for a minimum of 10 days. The list of sites can be viewed (while online) by clicking the History button in the browser’s menubar. If unsure where the history button is, consult the help feature supplied with the browser software.

• Monitor Instant Messenger, chat, and computer logs. This is especially useful as it arms you, the parent, with a means of knowing what your child is doing when he/she won’t sit down and talk to you.

• Create a ‘Rules for Computer Use,’ have each family member sign it, and keep it in full view at the computer area. Enforce and reinforce what is acceptable use, and each individual’s role in maintaining the computer. (Netsmarz.org provides a number of very good samples: http://www.netsmartz.org/resources/pledge.htm.)

For Kids:

• Never EVER give out personal information. Even a small amount of information about yourself like your full name, your phone number, and even your parents name can lead to trouble. Not only are you compromising your own safety, but you compromise it for everyone in your household.

o “Within a matter of moments they’ll have a map to your house, a picture of your house. They may even pick up in the matter of conversations that your mom and dad don’t get home until a certain time. So a kid who thinks they’re being very careful and is not giving out there name may have given out enough information for an abductor. He’s got all the information he needs,” said Attorney General John Suthers.

• Be Smart! Refrain from posting pictures of yourself online that can be associated with your name/location. By posting pictures with your name, you’ve just made it easier for a predator to 1) identify you in a public place; and 2) call you out by name and catch you off-guard.

• Never agree to meet an online friend in person. In many cases of kid/child-nappings, the sexual predators have pretended to be teens. “Just remember that someone who seems really nice and has been talking to you for months or even years (in some cases), and they ask to meet you in person, it still can be somebody different,” explains Sharon Zelle with the Colorado Regional Computer Forensics Laboratory.

• Never do anything online that you would not do offline. “Because there’s only a screen in front of them, they feel a little bolder, explains Zelle. “They might say things that they wouldn’t normally say.”

• Tell an adult when you see something that makes you uncomfortable. Self-explanatory.

Some excellent resources to check out:

• Netsmartz.org - http://www.netsmartz.org/index.htm Keeping kids and teens safer on the internet.
• Protectkids.org - http://www.protectkids.org Helping to protect our children from the dangers on the World Wide Web.
• Wired Safety - http://www.wiredsafety.org/ Online help and safety group

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